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Sunday, July 26, 2015

A CHILD'S LOVE...

When we are blessed with children we don't get the memo pre-birth about just how quickly our time with them will fly by, but if we do everything we can to love and nurture them, we will never lose them from our lives when they become adults. I am so blessed that my son is not only in my life, but that he and I still share the same close relationship we did when he was growing up. We still tell each other everything and we still talk out our problems and “counsel” each other when we need it...that our love and friendship is unconditional.


Raising kids is hard, especially if you are doing it on your own or with little help (which is what I did). It can leave you feeling tired and frustrated and at times, like giving up, but don't. Cherish each moment in every day that you are fortunate enough to spend with your children...find the good times and latch onto them...make wonderful memories and arm them with positive coping skills so they grow up finding the good in life. Before you know it they will be grown and out of your house (but hopefully not your life) and leave you wondering how it all went by so fast.


If there is one thing I know I did well in my entire life and that fills my heart with constant joy, it is that my son turned out so well and that he is here with me. Having raised him on my own I am so proud and honored that I was blessed with this beautiful soul. If you have children, treat them with kindness and respect and love them with all of your heart because when you do that and raise them with good, solid morals and values and unconditional love, you not only bless the world with a beautiful human being, you gain a best friend and the closest, most valuable part of your family.





Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

WHERE WERE YOU???

(c)07/2015-Kimberly D Miller

WHERE WERE YOU???

Where were you when it all turned bad...when I could not make sense of the things in my head;

Where were you when I came out to all...when I had no choice but to answer that call;

Where were you when I needed a hand...just someone to see me and then understand;

Where were you when the judgments flew...when everyone left me and I was so blue;

Where were you when confusion set in...when I was drowning my sorrows in a bottle of gin;

Where were you when people would stare...when I learned not to hide it, learned not to care;


Where were you??? Right by my side every step of the way...I cherish you!


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Saturday, July 25, 2015

I'M PERFECT...

If ever a self-sabotaging word existed in the English language it is the word “perfect.”  Never, ever, ever strive to be perfect…unless you love stressing yourself out of course.

We all have internal scales, i.e. good or bad, right or wrong, 
etc.  We constantly rate ourselves and our performance in all areas of our lives and if we don’t measure up to the bar we set, we feel let down or upset about it in some way.  Do you ever say to yourself things like, “Why didn’t I finish all of my work today?  I should have,” or “I can do much better than that,” or “It isn’t perfect or good enough.”  There is no such thing as perfect.  It just doesn’t exist in our world.  Those of us who strive to achieve it on a daily basis, or at all really, all we do is create stress and more stress and then even more stress than that. 

We are human, and as such…we are flawed, therefore we can never achieve perfection but by definition.  Who defines perfect?  In your adult life, you do (unless you allow other people to judge you).  In your childhood, your parents, your peers and basically everyone else in your world will set the bar for you.  I was always trying to be “good enough” to live up the standards my parents expected from me, but seldom succeeded.  Then, as I matured I had a certain standard of excellence that I could not live up to within myself and I was miserable all the time because I felt like a failure.  As an artistic person my creations were never “good enough” because they weren’t perfect in my mind so I would spend 7 hours on a sketch only to throw it away. 

On the weekends I work in a craft store and am surrounded by artists (which I love) but to listen to them talk makes my heart break because they always use the word “perfect” and how they tried to make the (gorgeous) creation they are holding in their hand, but it didn’t turn out “perfect.”  The good news on that front however, is that I am now coaching several of them due to my interrupting their conversations to bring them to a positive level of thought and am very happy about that. 

Courtney Carver listed 7 ways to kick perfection's ass in her 
blog, Be More With Less, which I love so much that I have listed them below for you to think about.  They are so right on.

  • Look forward to pleasing the right people instead of all the people. It’s not your job to make everyone happy. Your ideas, words, and actions in life or work will never please everyone. Shift your expectations and intentions and revel in the beauty of offering something that makes one person smile.
  • Ask for help. You can’t do it all and if you really want to enjoy life, you don’t want to do it all. Offer your advice and skills to others, and lean back for support where you need it most. Hire professionals. Call friends. Email experts. You are not alone.
  • Stop Comparing. Your life experience is as unique as your definition of success. When you can truly stop comparing, you can figure out what that definition is. You can take time to ask important questions like “What really makes me happy?” “What will I contribute to the world?” “What is enough for me?”
  • Do less. My dad always told me never to order pizza at a seafood restaurant or seafood at a pizza place. Specialize in one thing or a few things instead of trying to be good at everything.
  • Support imperfection. Hold the constructive criticism and be gentler with the people around you. Celebrate the best qualities in your loved ones and identify what’s most important. We are the toughest on the people we love the most. They deserve better.
  • Give yourself permission to fall apart. We admire composure and work to hold it all together all the time.  If you need to lay down and cry, throw a temper tantrum or write about punching things, do it. Embrace your human nature to rise and fall and fail and get back up.
  • Do it anyway. You are not perfect. Your work isn’t perfect. Your life isn’t perfect. So what? Go on … jump in.

Do the best you can in every area of your life, don’t slack because you can’t really be proud of slacking either, but don’t strive to be perfect because you will always let yourself down in that area.  Allow yourself to say, “I did the best I could,” which by the way, will never be good enough to please all of the people all of the time (just know that going in), and then walk away feeling good about every time you tried your best.  If you don’t please everyone around you, then that problem is theirs to deal with…you did your best and moved on without regret.



Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Friday, July 24, 2015

YOU'RE A WOMAN, SO AM I...

The other day I received an email from a woman who reads my blog.  She said she liked the poem I recently posted entitled, "Let Me Hold You," and asked that I post more of my lesbian poetry.  I do have a lot of my lesbian poems posted on my RedBubble site, but I also had this one that I had been working on over the past couple of days.  I will be writing and posting more of the same in the near future. 

YOU'RE A WOMAN...SO AM I

I plant myself inside your soul;
And wrap my roots so they will grow;

You're a woman, so am I;
We can make it side by side;

They say it's wrong but who are they;
To judge my life in any way;

My hand in yours, my life's complete;
I feel alive when our lips meet;

We press together, now we're one;
We feed our souls in unison;

We make sweet love with heat and fire;
Our hearts are filled with such desire;

Through many lifetimes I have known;
That in your heart I'll make my home.


I long for your presence in my essence

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

DYING LEAVES NEED TIME TO FALL...

When, when, when, when and when??? More often than not in life we have to use the virtue of patience (yes, patience is a virtue) and if we don't use it often enough, it becomes one of those really tough things to call upon at a moment's notice. There is a song I love and listen to often called "Dents" by The Acorn and one of the lyrics is, “...dying leaves need time to fall.” Every time I hear that line it grabs me and shakes me upside down by my feet as if to say, “Hey, if you just let things happen in their own time...and they will happen...then they will be right and wonderful and all that they should be.”


You know the expression, “hurry up and wait?” I can say from my own experience that whenever I have wanted something wonderful to happen or if I knew it was going to happen, I would try to think of ways to either hurry it along or maybe herd it into my life in a way other than that in which it was meant to enter and never with the results I had hoped for. It either wouldn't happen at all or it just would not happen until it was meant to happen and when it did I looked back and slapped myself in the forehead thinking why did I waste all that effort trying to make something happen that was meant to happen anyway? Hello!!! At this point I would just laugh at myself, take the lesson in patience, stash it in my compartmental-thought-vault and move on, hoping that I really learned that “waiting” lesson but good.


Sometimes we ask ourselves, “what are we waiting for?” but the answer is clear, we are waiting for “it” to happen. That is pretty much the entirety of life...waiting for “it” to happen...the next big event to come along and take us by surprise...the next person who is meant to enter our lives and teach us new things and/or learn from us as we teach them...the next great love...the next great friendship...the next big adventure to arrive and sweep us off our feet in excitement...the next chapter of our very unique stories to arrive and unfold before our ever-waiting eyes.



Waiting may be tough sometimes but the trick is to have a life during every moment of “it” and you will know this one thing...“it” is worth waiting for.


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

AND I QUOTE...

http://www.jucoolimages.com/images/quotes/quotes_18.gif
Every now and then I run across quotes that really spell it out about living life to its fullest and with its best intentions.  Yesterday I was stumbling through cyberspace and I came across this site that had so many that I liked so I wanted to share them with you. Here are 60 thought-provoking quotes from  Everyday Life Lessons:


  1. You cannot change what you refuse to confront.
  2. Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
  3. Don’t think of cost.  Think of value.
  4. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
  5. Too many people buy things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t know.  
  6. No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.
  7. If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so.  Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay.
  8. Making one person smile can change the world – maybe not the whole world, but their world.
  9. Saying someone is ugly doesn’t make you any prettier.
  10. The only normal people you know are the ones you don’t know very well.
  11. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it.
  12. The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.
  13. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.
  14. As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.
  15. Making a hundred friends is not a miracle.  The miracle is to make a single friend who will stand by your side even when hundreds are against you.
  16. Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough and smart enough to let go and move on.
  17. Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Einstein, etc…
  18. If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.
  19. Don’t choose the one who is beautiful to the world; choose the one who makes your world beautiful.
  20. Falling in love is not a choice.  To stay in love is.
  21. True love isn’t about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated.
  22. While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy.
  23. Never do something permanently foolish just because you are temporarily upset.
  24. You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them.  
  25. In life, if you don’t risk anything, you risk everything.
  26. When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.
  27. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
  28. There isn’t anything noble about being superior to another person.  True nobility is in being superior to the person you once were.
  29. Trying to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.
  30. You will never become who you want to be if you keep blaming everyone else for who you are now.
  31. People are more what they hide than what they show.
  32. Sometimes people don’t notice the things others do for them until they stop doing them.
  33. Don’t listen to what people say, watch what they do.
  34. Being alone does not mean you are lonely, and being lonely does not mean you are alone.
  35. Love is not about sex, going on fancy dates, or showing off.  It’s about being with a person who makes you happy in a way nobody else can.
  36. Anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you.  It takes someone really special to stay in your life and show how much they love you.
  37. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.  Don’t save it for a special occasion; today is special.
  38. Love and appreciate your parents.  We are often so busy growing up, we forget they are also growing old.
  39. When you have to start compromising yourself and your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you.
  40. Learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.
  41. When someone tells you, “You’ve changed,” it might simply be because you’ve stopped living your life their way.
  42. Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right.
  43. Be happy.  Be yourself.  If others don’t like it, then let them be.  Happiness is a choice.  Life isn’t about pleasing everybody.
  44. When you’re up, your friends know who you are.  When you’re down, you know who your friends are.
  45. Don’t look for someone who will solve all your problems; look for someone who will face them with you.
  46. If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair, you’re fooling yourself. That’s like expecting the lion not to eat you because you didn’t eat him.
  47. No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.
  48. The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.
  49. Many people are so poor because the only thing they have is money.
  50. Learn to appreciate the things you have before time forces you appreciate the things you once had.
  51. When you choose to see the good in others, you end up finding the good in yourself.
  52. You don’t drown by falling in the water.  You drown by staying there.
  53. It’s better to know and be disappointed than to never know and always wonder.
  54. There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.
  55. Happiness is not determined by what’s happening around you, but rather what’s happening inside you.  Most people depend on others to gain happiness, but the truth is, it always comes from within.
  56. If you tell the truth, it becomes a part of your past.  If you lie, it becomes a part of your future.
  57. What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while.  
  58. You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
  59. Things turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.
  60. If you don’t like something, change it.  If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

COMP"PART"MENTAL-IZE...


Do you ever feel like Sybil, i.e. like you have so many personalities inside of you that you are never really sure which one of those accurately depicts the real you? Maybe it's just me, but I feel like moods are various versions of ourselves that make up the total package of who we are.


As humans we are able to compartmentalize the various versions of ourselves and the different moods they are comprised of. In fact, the word “compartmentalize” contains the word “part” and “mental,” both of which are indicative of doing just that...putting the different parts into our mental compartments. Why do we compartmentalize? With our moods we do it because to bring them all out and combine them all at once would drive us right into the waiting arms of the mental institutions. It would make us nuts.  But we do it early on with undeveloped parts of ourselves that we want to preserve.


When we are young and developing there are often parts of us that, due to our living conditions/situations and upbringing, we seal into mental compartments in case we are fortunate enough to be able to bring them back out later in life. For me it was the ability to see or recognize anything positive and the ability to find balance. I put both of those into vaults for practically my entire life and now that I need them and want them so much, they are there for me, but not without a lot of coaxing and hard work. People who grew up sheltered had to compartmentalize their wild side and their experimental sides. People who grew up being told to shut up all the time or that they should be seen and not heard, had to compartmentalize their boldness and their voice. People who grew up to be prim and proper had to compartmentalize the parts of them who want to let go and just let it all hang out despite appearances and judgments, and so on. We just want to be who we were meant to be but our lives don't always afford us this basic need. How many times did you keep your feelings bottled up and were discreet about who you were when all you really wanted to do was to walk up to anyone who would listen and tell them all about yourself...but instead you compartmentalized.  How many times did you want to be a freak between the sheets but your upbringing required you to be a "lady" at all times...so instead you compartmentalized.  How many times did you want to get angry at work or in public and cuss like a sailor, but your upbringing kept you from saying anything in a negative or unkind manner...so instead you compartmentalized.


It's time to get healthy, people.  I'm here to tell you to take the key and pop the fucking locks. It...is...time. If you are an adult, living on your own, no matter the damage, you need to let the parts of you that you locked up for safe keeping...out. It is time to bring them out and work on letting them be a part of your adult life. You no longer need to hide them and if you still think you do, then maybe it is time to reassess as to why. It is no easy task, bringing these hidden parts out...don't think it is, but you will be a complete person when you are able to do it. At first these aspects will want to come out in full force and when they do a part of you will be addicted to how great it feels. The problem for a lot of people however, is that once an old, hidden aspect has been out of its compartment for a bit, it tends to get scared and go back into hiding for awhile. You may even end up having to coax it back out with a little force the first time, but after you get it back out and get it used to being out, it will acclimate and learn to come and go as you need it. This can be a little daunting at first because you are not used to being able to call on it when you want to, but when you get a good taste of having that part of you readily available, you will want to use it often and, in the long run, you will be a complete you.



Yes, we have to compartmentalize for our mental health to the point of keeping certain parts of ourselves and our moods at bay until we call on them, but there comes a time in our lives that we need to let the real parts of ourselves emerge from their childhood prisons and be who we are meant to be. If you never let them out, you will never be the true version of you and believe me, that would be a waste and a shame.  


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

LIFE BEGINS AT THE END OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE...

Did you ever want to make changes in or to your life but weren't sure of how to get started or even if you could make them? The answer? You can...any time...all the time...any change you desire. All you have to do is to know what you want and then to want it.


There is a wonderful saying that goes, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” I love this...its says it all for me. I know all too well that when I want to make drastic changes in my life I have to make the decision to walk outside of my comfort zone in one or more directions in order to achieve them. Of course not all changes are drastic changes but even the small ones require a certain amount of comfort zone departure. For most people the comfort zone is a very difficult zone to leave, even if just for a short time because we all tend to snuggle into the routines in our lives with our footie pajamas on. Some or most of our routines may not best suit us or make us soul-wrenchingly happy, but we habitually snuggle up to them for lack of knowing we can have what we want in our lives, that it is okay and that we deserve good and wonderful changes to occur whenever we want.


A comfort zone is just that...a zone. Merriam-Webster defines the word “zone” as follows: “An area that is different from other areas in a particular way.” By this definition it makes sense then that we can create, change and eliminate our zones.


Let me give an example of a drastic change. A little over eight months ago, when my life became really unbearable for me, I had to come to the realization that it did so based on a series of bad choices I had made for myself which ultimately led me to the decision that I needed to make drastic changes if I were ever going to be able to have a life that satisfied me. I am not going to sugar-coat it because it was very uncomfortable to make the decision to sell off everything I owned and move to a place in which I knew no one, but I knew I had to do it because I realized I had to learn to listen to my soul if I ever wanted happiness in my life and my soul told me I had to start over. I was uncomfortable for a very long time as I waded through these changes, but now my life is on the right path...finally for the first time in a very long time, and it would never have happened had I not stepped outside of my comfort zone. I have had to make these drastic changes and adjustments with so many issues in my life like my sexuality, raising a child on my own, working male-dominated jobs, buying a home, living alone, and the list goes on. Was I afraid to make these drastic changes? Very much so, but at some point you have to have faith in something or someone...either in God or yourself or whatever you believe in...but you have to find the faith and stop living in fear. You have to take that leap.


Change is inevitable...in fact one of the constant truths in our lives is that it will happen. How we react to it and the choices we make regarding it are what defines our world. Most of the time we need to hit a breaking point in order to make these drastic changes and I thank God for that breaking point or I wouldn't do half of the things I need to do to effectuate the positive changes in my life and get to where I actually want to be...not just be where I am.



If you want to change your life for the better...make the choice to take that first step and step outside of your comfort zone. You won't regret it. 



Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

NEED TO LAUGH???

I don't know about you, but lately I need to laugh.  It seems my day is filled with a lot of ups and downs and emotions all over the chart, but all I want to do right now is laugh.  So, in order to help anyone else out there who is having the same kind of shitty month I have been having, I wanted to share the following video. It made me laugh so hard I peed a little and I hope it will do the same for you (hahaha).  Enjoy:



Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

PLANETARY YUCK...

Cape Arago - (c) 2015 Kimberly Miller

As a person who follows astrology I research the alignment of the planets on a regular basis, especially when I feel out of sorts and last week I was very much out of sorts. It seems that everyone I talked to also had a very odd and seemingly difficult week last week and were also feeling out of sorts. My research concluded that there were indeed planetary alignments that challenged how we deal with one another and how we feel. The good news is that this week it all changes again, but Uranus will be moving into a house that puts us back to ourselves but makes us feel even better about it than usual.


I work so hard to change the things about my life that no longer bring me joy and/or positive results and when these planetary challenges come into play it makes it all the more difficult to stay positive, but I believe this fight is part of the journey. It wouldn't mean as much if it were too easy to get where I wanted to be and I wouldn't be learning the lessons I'm learning and coming into the invaluable knowledge I am now privy to...in other words, without the fight there would be no glory...no victory.


Sometimes these planetary challenges last a very long time, years even, and they can make every day seem so hard, but the trick is to ignore the planetary yuck and grab onto all of the positive aspects of each and every day. I was watching a movie this morning and one of the characters said, “We all want love to come along but then we apply all these restrictions as to how it should come along.” I loved this line. I see this apply to almost everything we want in our lives, not just love. We all want things...money, happiness, health, joy, romance, goodness, houses, cars, spirituality, faith, love, etc., but then when the universe wants to give us the things we ask for, we say, “Okay...well that would be nice because I wanted this, but I actually wanted it to be (this)...or wanted it to look like (this) or wanted the situation to play out like (this). I have decided that I am going to just say thank you. Thank you for the gift of giving me what I asked for. Okay, maybe I didn't specify all of the details as to how I wanted something to play out or example, but when I look at the whole picture, I got what I wanted and I can now take the wonderful things I was given, make adjustments to the situation, and just be happy and grateful for the gift, knowing that it changed my life in exactly the way I wanted it to and/or exactly the way it was meant to.



The planets, like our lives, are constantly changing and aligning into different houses with different aspects and because of this we face so many rough roads in life, but none of them need to be met with defeat. If you stay positive and bring only those aspects into the mix, you will always get positive results and kick ass on the planetary yuck.


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Friday, July 10, 2015

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY . ..

It's a beautiful day to feel good. ..about everything. ...give yourself permission to enjoy each and every day

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

THE SILENT STONE...

By the silent stone I sit, my soul encased with physical strains;


My head I press into the wind, I long to soar above the stress of gravity;


The ocean breeze taunts my skin with its crisp purity and scent of honesty;


I care no more for restraints of emotionality or oppression of human obstacles;


Judge me not for I care not about clandestine judgments of those who do not know;


I release my hold on illusions and embrace the here and the now.


Sometimes I write these...they are a cross between a poem and a rant, but calmer and without rhyme.  I can't remember what they are called, but I remember doing them years ago in a day-long class I took.  They are a great writing exercise and an exercise in letting yourself free up with expression.



(c) 2015 Kimberly D Miller


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

DRIVING ME CRAZY...

You know how you are out on the road, minding your own business, listening to music, singing along, just enjoying the drive and then..blam...someone pulls out in front of you or cuts you off and makes you have to slam on your brakes, your fight-or-flight reaction kicks in as your life flashes before your eyes and your mellow, enjoyable mood is gone in an instant!!!


That happens to me so often anymore, but I realized the other day that these would be people that I would most likely avoid in my personal life anyway. You can tell so much about people by the way they drive. Those people who pull out in front of you are either...royalty and don't feel they have to wait until it's clear because when they enter the road the seas will part and allow them free and clear passage or...they are the ones who pay attention to nothing and do not care about the consequences for anyone concerned (until, of course, they have an accident and kill a family or something equally horrifying.), either way, not people I gravitate toward or want to know. Then you have your overly cautious drivers who stop at every stop sign for a minimum of 10 seconds, don't dare drive one mile over the speed limit and at times at least 5 miles per hour under, and stop for every crosswalk whether someone is crossing or not. Now I agree it is a very good thing to be cautious, but being overly cautious can have the opposite effect and create road-rage in people and also cause accidents and/or shootings. I would probably have these people in my life as acquaintances but not close friends because their lackadaisical attitude would eventually drive me nuts. Then there are the people who have to pass you, even in the worst spots, and if they can't then they tailgate you until they can because OMG they might not reach their destination in a New-York-minute and if you were to ask 99% of them why they were in a hurry, they would tell you they didn't know. People who live in the city are like that. When I lived in the San Francisco bay area for 10 years I was in a hurry all the time, but I never knew why. It is just so fast-paced. I do have some of these people in my life and I used to be one of them, but I don't desire that pace anymore. My favorite drivers are those who are just cautious enough, but laid back. They don't yell or scream at traffic who cannot hear them anyway, they let people pull out from side streets in slow traffic, stop at crosswalks when people are ready to cross, kick back to their music and just take life one minute at a time. They know that they will get there when they get there and not before. These are the people I would be friends with because they take life as it comes, as I am trying to learn to do, and they are laid back about it all. With my personality type it is a difficult, long and slow lesson, but I am definitely on track.


My own driving habits have changed immensely since I moved last September and I have noticed how that coincides with my take on life. I no longer have to be there before the rest of the traffic and if I get behind someone slow I no longer tailgate because I know there will be a passing zone somewhere up ahead. I like how that feels to just take things as they come and not stress about the future because I know I cannot predict it nor can I change its outcome so I just drive, listen to my music, take my time and enjoy the beauty through the windows.



The next time you get behind the wheel, take notice of your driving habits and you may learn something new about yourself...it couldn't hurt.   


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Monday, July 6, 2015

THERE'S NO TIME...

You've heard the expression, time and tide wait for no man? Well, it's true and it waits for no woman either (lol). We are allotted a certain amount of time when we arrive in this realm and we need to use it wisely. It is our fear of wasting time that causes us stress and yet the oxymoron there is that stress is such a waste of time.


How many times a day do you wonder what time it is. With the advent of the concept of time, came stress. When our society enveloped the use of the calendar and then the use of the concept of time within the calendar, we set ourselves up for these stressul lives we lead in being slaves to these two concepts. Think about your day. You get up at a designated time (most days) and then you use time to “stay on schedule” as you prepare yourself for you day. You then need to get to your work by a designated time and meet deadlines within their designated time frames. At some point you take a lunch, which is only allotted a certain amount of time before you need to be back to work. Then you have something you have to do after work and you need to be there at a certain time so you need to make sure you are out of work at a certain time in order to be to the after-work thing on time. You also need to make sure you don't spend too much time there because you need to get so many hours of sleep at night so you can get up on time in the morning for work again. Not only that, but while you are living day to day you are planning for certain holidays that may be arriving like Christmas or Thanksgiving and all the preparation you have to make sure you do for them within their time frame so that everything goes according to plan. Could you be more stressed America?


One of the phrases I hear most often is, “I don't have time.” I am here to tell you that, “Yes, you do.” You have the time. The time is yours. I find that people who use that phrase do so as an excuse as to why they didn't achieve something they didn't really want to achieve in the first place. “Why didn't you exercise after work?” “I didn't have time.” “Why didn't you jog this morning?” “I didn't have time.” “Why didn't you go to the doctor today?” “I didn't have time.” I think you see where I'm going with this. Even those people who really think they don't have time need to understand that the time is there and it is theirs to do with as they will. It is all in the planning. You can shift your allotments of time to make room for anything and everything you want to fit into your life, but be careful not to try to fit too much in one day because then you are just adding more stress. If you allot your time, there is no reason for stress. People who cut it down to the wire are the most stressed because they are late waking up, late getting to work, late for appointments, not getting their “in” basket cleared out every day, not weeding through x-amount of paperwork every day, etc. It is great to make goals for yourself to use your time wisely, but then you have to stick to them. If you know you want to exercise in the morning beause it makes your day start out better, get up earlier and plan accordingly. Many people successfully rise early, exercise, shower, eat breakfast and still get to work with time to spare. If you have a very busy position, be realistic about the things you can accomplish in one day without stressing yourself out. Your “in” basket is going to be there every day. You will probably rarely see it empty. You need to triage it in the morning, i.e. go through it and pull out everything that needs to be taken care of in an urgent matter and put those things either on top or to the side. You can even make an “in” basket for urgent matters and keep those separate. Everything else you will get to when you get to it. You have to be realistic about what you can accomplish in one day as a mere mortal. Now, if you have your Wonder Woman or Superman suit on and can use your super powers to go over and above what mere mortals can accomplish, then I say go for it, but let's face it...some days it's hard to get your work clothes on over that suit.


You have the time, now you need to take the time. Take it. It's that simple...just take it. It is yours to take. It was given to you at the time you were born. This is not a difficult concept, although most people make it so. An example of this would be that I wanted to blog before work this morning so I got up an hour earlier. Not only did I get to write my blog, but I also got to enjoy watching the sun come up behind the trees this morning and listen to the sound of the birds waking up all around me. I got to feel the cool, morning air on my skin and smell its early freshness. I like waking up slowly in the morning, savoring the touch of the sheets as I slowly stretch in them, watching something silly on television while eating breakfast in bed and looking out the window, watching the day begin to develop. I take the time. I cherish my time and yes, like every other human on the planet I have my areas in which I stress and waste it, but I work harder and harder on not doing so anymore. I have learned what a precious commodity it is and I feel that I cheat myself if I waste it. It is the same principle as taking hundred-dollar-bills and flushing them down the toilet one at a time and, in my opinion, it is less of a big deal to do that than to waste something as precious as time.


Be kind to yourself and appreciate this gift you were given. Stressing about it almost makes it seem like a bad thing. Do what you realistically can do in one day without overdoing it. Start your morning slowly, work through your work day doing only those things you CAN do without going overboard about it and without letting everyone else make you feel bad about not getting things done in “their” time frame, and do things after work that you want to do without compromising your evening sleep time. If you have a busy job and a boss who is always nagging you to accomplish the impossible everyday, either get this boss to hire you some help or it is time to look for another position people. It IS possible and you can have it if you want it.



There is always time.


Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

FIND YOUR REFLECTION...

(I took this picture of Haceta Head Lighthouse this past Friday)

I had a beautiful day at the beach today, writing in my journal...poetry and reflection.  Reflection is such a great way to find the things in your heart and soul that are actually important and true.  This is the poem I wrote:


I now understand, I finally know,
How to find freedom, how to let go,

You have to give up, you have to give in,
But just from the fight you battle within,

You cannot worry, you cannot care,
About circumstances that aren't really there,

Live for each moment, they're precious you see,
Live for the positive, live to be free,

Keep judgments and gossip out of your life,
If you embrace them they'll only bring strife,

We need to weed through what's important or not,
We need to take stock of the beauty we've got,

Get rid of fear, be the person you are,
Learn to be free, stop fighting that war.


This is the reflection:


Right now, in this moment, sitting on the beach with my headphones in my ears, beautiful tunes pulsing through them into my soul and journal in hand, I can say that I am very happy and peaceful. The fact that I was granted the use of five beautiful senses is not lost of me right now and I hope it never will be. I hear the beautiful, peaceful sound of the waves lapping against the shore and the distant foghorn. I feel the warm sand sifting between my toes, the cool breeze gently caressing my skin and the sun as it peeks out from the clouds and warms me. I can taste the salt on my lips. I can smell the sea, its fresh and clean air. I can see the clouds part to make way for the arriving sun, the barge making its way to shore from the horizon, the varied colors of the sand and the sea, the waves as they change so rapidly, and the trees that stand majestically on the hillside. I am so grateful for these gifts, for my good health and my beautiful and positive life.



I share my day at the beach with the hope that you all have a special place to go that helps you to find the reflection within you. It sure does put everything into perspective.

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

HEAD REGURGITATION...

If you read my blog then you know that from time to time I need to let out all of the random thoughts and weirdness that builds up and runs around my brain.  I do this in the form of free writing in which I write down anything and everything that comes to mind, whether it makes sense or not.  It is a great release and this morning I really need to release.

People who don't try to stay in my life, don't deserve to be there. I am going to slap the next person who tries to shush me in any way. If you know me you know I am a person of words, please respect that. Don't use the word “little” to describe anything in anyone's life when you talk to me, it is very condescending and pretentious. I love myself and I deserve only the best life has to offer. I miss my family, even my dad. I want to help people, I hope I do. I need to put more music on my phone. I want to go to the beach today. A person could leave your life in a heartbeat so if you don't tell them you love them every chance you get you will be left with regret. Why do gas prices go up on a holiday weekend. Aren't people more apt to travel when gas prices are down? They can make that shit up in volume. I love the morning marine layer because it keeps it cool here. I live in a beautiful area and I'm grateful for that. I had fun on Friday but not on the fourth. People are fucking nuts. I love art. I need some breakfast. I'm glad I work tomorrow. I like my job now. I love my son, he is so good to me. I need to wash my truck. I'm going to the beach today, definitely. I need water. I need to get out of bed. Life began at 50 and I'm so glad it did. Need to pack a picnic lunch to take to the beach.

At this point, after my head regurgitation, I feel so clear and much more at ease. As you can see there is no rhyme or reason for the way anything is written as it is the way it comes out of my mind. I love this exercise and I hope it will inspire you to let all the rambles out of your head the next time you feel stressed and pent up. It really helps.





Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Saturday, July 4, 2015

FINDING FREEDOM...

You wanna know the secret to being free? It's actually very simple...you are free when you are fearless. Isn't that simple? Okay so for some the execution of that concept may not be simple, but for those who lead a relatively fearless and faithful life, you know what I mean.


I used to fear everything. I think all shy people do or they wouldn't be shy. Shyness in itself is a fear...a fear of being who you are and greeting the world with it for fear you will be judged. Actually, that is a good place to start, fear of being judged. Why do we fear this? If you break this down you will realize just how silly this is. We are afraid that if we do a certain thing or say a certain thing that someone in our personal world or our work world will judge us in some way but this then prompts me to ask you this question...so what? What will happen if you are judged by another human being who is full of as much human frailty and sin as you are? One of two things will happen...they will either move on, or say something negative in front of or behind your back and move on...either way, who the fuck are they to judge you. If you don't let what they say bother you in any way and just move on yourself, you have taken that power away from them, squashed it and taken the fear out of it. You will find in this scenario that 100% of people who point a finger at you have the other three fingers pointing back at them. My ex used to accuse me of cheating on him whenever he was cheating on me. Then he would accuse me of doing drugs when he was back on drugs. I began to notice that whenever he did something he knew was going to cause turmoil in our relationship he would first accuse me of that very thing. In the beginning his accusations would upset me and make me angry, but then I learned to use them for what they were, him telling me what HE was doing. If people judge you, then they do. You can't control that and if they keep it up, you may want to question why you have them in your life at all.


That is another good issue, control. Control is a HUGE fear factor that people tend to think they have. It is an illusion that any part of life may be controlled by predetermining the outcome. Control issues are based on fears that others won't live up to YOUR expectations...this is also called “outlining” where you hand the universe a script of how you want it and everyone in it to behave. Outlining could cause you to overlook an even more beautiful way of life in which you believe and have faith that what will be will be and you know what? It will be...no matter how much control you THINK you have over it, you don't. If you are meant to die on Friday the 18th, 2067, then that is the day you will die. No amount of determent will change that fact. It is destiny. Your whole life is destiny. If you can just let go of fear and let people be who they are and do what they will do and know with faith that you will handle it and all other change that enters your life, you will have no stress. That is right I said NO stress, not less. Stress is caused by fighting the change that is entering our lives. If we let it enter and deal with it in a positive way, it will not bother us. We let things bother us because of expectations and those will only cause stress. Do you see the vicious circle here?


Expectations. I wrote a post entitled, “Expect-fucking-tations,” a while back which goes into more detail on the subject, however this is a fear-based, self-destructive, negative and unrealistic thing to put into your life. If you expect someone to act negatively, chances are pretty good that they will. On the other side of that coin, just because you expect someone to do something or react a certain way, doesn't mean they will. I guarantee you will feel let down 100% of the time if you always expect how people “should” react or act (there is that word I hate again). People are who they are and who they are is unpredictable. That's kind of the excitement of it though, isn't it? How dull it would be if people did everything they way we expected they would. I find that people who expect everyone to behave a certain way will always have more drama in their lives because they put it there in this way. People who are laid back and seem to others to live a calm life, are those individuals who can just sit back, let everyone around them act and react the way they are going to, and just let it go. They could get all upset and create drama, but they don't. This is the kind of person I am trying to become because I have always been the former. I will be the first to say that I am not there yet, but I am well on my way. It takes years of baby steps to undo all of that negativity.



I want to be free. I want to totally let go and let it all in and love every minute of every thing I do in this realm and on this planet. In order for me to achieve this goal, I first need to be fearless, and I will be, eventually. Until then I surround myself with loving and patient people who will understand this metamorphosis and not judge me as I change because they are doing the very same, wonderful thing. If you want to be free it's simple...be fearless.

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

SAND RAILS IN THE DUNES...

 (Top picture...I'm in the back with my hand on the top rail ...Bottom picture...I'm all the way to the left...not my best hair day...lol)


Part of the excitement of moving to a new state is discovering all of the things hidden in it.  I so love getting out in my truck and exploring. There are things to do all over the place and I am having so much fun finding them here in this beautiful state or Oregon.



A few miles south of Florence, Oregon, one of my favorite coastal towns (they still have an A&W that you can drive up in and they carhop for you), there is a place called the Family Fun Center and I have always wanted to go there. Yesterday I drove up to the Haceta Head Lighthouse in Yachats and on the way back I thought, why not.  Besides go-carts and bumper boats and other kid-friendly activities, they also had a huge dune buggy that would take you on a tour of the dunes or you could go for more excitement and go for a thrill-seeking ride on the sand rails.  Of course I chose the sand rails because who doesn't want the thrills. 


Our driver was Kyle and I was seated in the back (the sand-eating section...lol) which was more fun because when it turns left or right it whips you around.  I was riding with six other thrill-seekers and next to me was a young couple from Vancouver, Canada, vacationing down the coast.  They had never been on the dunes before.  I have been on the dunes thanks to my friends Trish and Scott Warren who took me on their quads.  I have to say I had so much fun listening to the lady next to me scream and say she was gonna die when we went down the drop-off hills...I could relate that to my first time on the dunes.  We sped around at 60 mph or better, up and down hills, around trees and poles in a sea of sand.  The wind was cool, but mild. I was "woo-hooing" as loud as I could and enjoying every minute of the speed and uncertainty of the turns and drops.  When we finally got out of the sand rail, as soon as I stood up it felt like water was running down my back under my shirt, but no, it was sand...lol.  I still have sand in my hair, even after washing it.  Next time I want to go for the hour.  Kyle told me they take you down on the beach as well during that trip.


If you have never been on the dunes, I strongly recommend it.  They are having a huge dune festival in August and if you get the chance, you definitely need to give this a try.



Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Friday, July 3, 2015

LET ME HOLD YOU...

Be my love and I'll be whole, let me wrap you in my soul,

Let me wrap around your heart, from your life I'll never part,

You're a gift from up above and you have taught me how to love,

Live your life without the fear, live with pride don't shed a tear,

Be who you are despite the glares, I can teach you not to care,

Share my life and be with me, we'll live a life that's so carefree,

We'll make sweet love both day and night, how I long to hold you tight,


Be my love and I'll be whole, let me wrap you in my soul.


The thing about writing poetry, at least for me, is that when it needs to come out, there is no stopping it.  I liked this one though.

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

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