Wednesday, December 17, 2014

BLIND FAITH...

(c) 2014 K. Miller -  Light Display at Shoreacres Botanical Gardens
Blind faith...is there anything more unsettling than not knowing what is going to happen?  I think about how brave it must have been for Christopher Columbus (or anyone before him who did not gain his fame), to have set sail toward the horizon not knowing for sure that he wasn't going to fall right off the side of the world, as it was thought to be in those days.  What courage that took.  There is a saying that goes, "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important."  I love that.  To me, that is what blind faith is all about; having the courage to trust that we are here for a reason and that what is to be...is to be.  

We have the illusion of control, and to some extent we have control on small levels, but on large levels, the ones that make the biggest changes in our lives, we aren't the pilots or even the co-pilots, we are just along for the ride and here to fulfill our purpose.  It is interesting to me how individual we all are and how we all feel we have so many differences, but if you think about how many human beings there are on this planet and what a drop-in-the-bucket each one of us are, you tend to realize how insignificant we are on a grand scale.  If not for the fact that we each fulfill a unique purpose, one would wonder how there could be so many of us in co-existence.  

As I age I try harder and harder to embrace blind faith...to live only in this moment and, hard as that may be, I find that my anxiety ebbs when I do. Yesterday I made a trip to my local natural foods store as I am trying diligently to wean off of the anti-anxiety medication I was put on by a doctor so many years ago by replacing it with a natural supplement.  In my journey to make this transition I now know the importance of taking time to breathe correctly and stop to take that moment just for me, even if it is just three minutes, they are an important and vital three minutes.  It's the blind faith that is the reason I know I CAN do it and it WILL be fine.  It's the blind faith that helps me realize that everything WILL work out as it should, good or bad.  The good or bad in it is all in how I perceive it anyway.

When we fight change, we fight the inevitable (I'm famous for it).  The moral of the story?  We can only make our way through life blindly.  Why not embrace blind faith and make it the constant excitement in your life...be positive and the change will be too.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

THE MOST WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS GIFT…

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This year I have been blessed with so much and I am so grateful. 

One of the nicest Christmas gifts I could hope for was granted to me this past week…a visit from a very dear friend who flew in from out of state to spend 5 wonderful days with me.  We got to know each other even more than we have in the past…I showed her my spiritual spots in Oregon thus far and she shared her wisdom and laughter with me.  I don’t think I have laughed that much in a very long time. 

To her I will always be grateful that she took time out of her busy schedule to come and see me.  I hope she knows how much I love her and how much I appreciate that her presence was the best Christmas present I have had in a very long time (with exception to my son of course).

ONE STEP FORWARD…

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You know the saying, “One step forward, two steps back?”  I know along the journey it must be necessary for this to occur so that the desired results come on gradually as opposed to all-at-once, which could be difficult for our psyches to grasp in a healthy manner, but damn sometimes it can be the most frustrating part.  I feel as if I am making great progress and then it seems that all in one day I lose sight of the things I have learned and the progress I have made.  I am having trouble with my memory as of late, and I wonder if it is post-menopausal.  The research I have done states that memory loss is a symptom, however I didn’t think it would make me feel most often as though I were losing sight of everything, including my progress on my spiritual path.

With all I had recently overcome in order to make the move to Oregon, it is of the utmost importance to me that the things I learned along the way, especially spiritually, remain deeply imbedded not only in my soul and my life, but in my psyche. 

While I am not sure that my memory loss and my taking two steps back are related and/or the cause of one another, I do know how important it is to make sure I stay committed to the path I am on; a path of truth and self-discovery; a path of endurance and teaching; a path of helping anyone and everyone who ventures into my path for any reason at all.  I know I am making great strides with my spiritual growth and I know I am going to experience setbacks in any endeavor I attempt, but that doesn’t dissipate the feeling of frustration when it happens. 

The memory loss is something that further hinders my frustration and quite frankly, is what I blame for often feeling a constant state of upheaval.  I find it sad that people think I am lying because when asked a question, I verbally struggle to remember the facts to the response.  For instance, and the most frustrating of all, is when people ask me to recall exact words that I said just days ago and I can’t do it, so rather than feeling embarrassed by the memory loss I try to remember the things I said and it looks and sounds like someone who is lying and making things up on the spot, at least to me.  My last boss made me feel really bad about myself because I couldn’t recall exact wording to things I had told him.

If you know anyone who is having memory problems, please don’t judge them until you understand what is going on in their lives.

Monday, December 8, 2014

WHAT IF…

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(One of my art pieces)

Are you, or someone you know, one of those people who are always asking the question, “What if…?”  If you are, then we need to fine-tune your thought process. 

I used to be the first person to ask that detrimental question…so much so that I freaked myself out to the point of having to take anti-anxiety medication just to get through the day.  If you or someone you know are in the habit of asking this question, even once daily, then you need to understand that that is a very unhealthy habit.  You cannot be free of stress until you realize that “what if,” takes care of itself. 

There is no such thing as “what if.”  There either is, or there isn’t.  When you ask this question, you project into the future and no one knows what the future holds for you, at least not anyone in this realm (albeit there are those rare people who can predict but even they don’t ask “what if,” because they know). 

Once I took a long look at this habit and how badly it was affecting me, I understood just how silly it is to ask, “What if…,” because it isn’t possible.  What happens, happens and cannot be undone once the fleeting moment has spent.  There is the here and the now.  The what was is left in the past (unless you relish living with depression) and the what is to be is left to the future (unless you wish to live with anxiety).  Many factors run throughout the course of a day and none of them are contingent upon what will be as it hasn’t happened yet and may not happen at all.  People tend to set themselves up for a lot of worry and anxiety when they think that things “could” happen to them and/or their upcoming plans.

Do yourselves a favor and let what will happen, happen.  Live in the moment and DO NOT project forward because you do not know what your future holds. The happiest you can be is in the here and the now.  What you “think” as far as the future goes, can sometimes bring on negative effects and you could be throwing wrenches into your plans that way. 

We are all so busy looking for the non-existent plain of eternal happiness that we don’t realize our happiness is made up of small moments of joy and triumphs throughout an “ordinary” day.  Try living just for the here and the now; trust with blind faith that everything in the future has already been mapped out for you and most important of all…remember to just breathe.

HEY YOU…

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Tuesday, December 2, 2014

YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO…

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How many times in life have you heard the phrase,   “You have to learn...,” followed by words like,        “...how to say no,” or “...that you have a choice,” or “...a trade before you can have a career.”  I could go on because this phrase can be used in so many   contexts throughout your lifetime, but you get the  picture. 

About the time in my life that I realized I had heard  this phrase for the umpteenth time, I finally realized  it was a message being sent to me over and over  again...about how to live.  I realized that even at my age, I had a lot to learn and that I needed to apply  the things I learned in the past to my present day life as well.  I am now hyper-conscious of the things that life is teaching me and  the fun part, and often the hard part, is learning how to apply these things to daily living because often there is so much to apply at once.  I then realized that if we take the things we learn each day and do our  best to learn where, when and how to apply them  quickly, they become second nature and new,  learned responses.  It is as if we are building a  coping-skills armory and adding to it daily. 

Learning about yourself, who you are, why you are  and what your special purpose is, is the ultimate goal.  Most people acquire so much baggage along the  way that they forget that that is what they must first do in order to be complete enough to be successful  on their unique path in life.

We all ask the question to others as well as ourselves, “Where do you see yourself in....years?”  While it  is good to set goals and have plans, never forget the  importance of living each day to its fullest and  staying in the moment as much as possible.  The  future will take care of itself and if you have faith,  you know that to be true.  Our job here is to learn  about ourselves, learn about the people in our lives  and even about the people who cross through our  lives for only brief moments.  They all teach us  something, good or bad, tough, easy or indifferent,  and we teach them as well. 

I find it intriguing that most of the time people aren’t even aware that lessons are present in all situations, but I think as we get older the lessons are either less subtle or we become more aware and sensitive.

I am now more grateful than ever for everything that I have, everything that I know, everything that I am and I treasure it every minute of every day, learning more and more about myself and my journey and my purpose in life and with other people.

Life is one big lesson followed by a final exam... make sure you study hard as this is one test you will want to make sure you pass.

I’m not sure if I have shared this poem before, it is  one I wrote in June of last year, but I really think it  applies here.

CHANGE

By

Kimberly D Miller

(c) 06-10-2014

Change is life, life is change;

Our situations rearrange;

First we're here, then we're there,

We must accept it everywhere;

Time and tide are constant spans;

Life just happens, don't make plans;

Control's an illusion to ease the mind;

No map to follow, will you find;

Walk the path you’re meant to tread;

Not ever a second should you dread;

We are here, no matter the test;

To pass them all by doing our best.

Monday, December 1, 2014

NEW PICTURES…GREAT TIMES!!!

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I didn’t get the best shot of this tree but I was sitting in a parking lot and felt like I was being stared at.  Then I realized this tree had a lot of eyes.

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It is mushrooming season.  How I have missed seeing them growing in the wild.

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I took this of a leave in front of my truck in the rain at three in the morning.

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This came out a bit blurry but I love this particular farm…I love all of the local farms

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I was enamored by the leftover leaves in this maple tree against the already winter-bared trees behind it.

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I love the the Chosin bridge in Mangus park.

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Look at the seagull on top of the tree…lol

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Last night I got to go to see the famous lights at the botanical gardens in Shoreacres Park, right above the beach.  This is the only place on the entire Western coastline that does this every year at Christmas time.  The pictures cannot even capture the awe.  Click on any of the pictures to enlarge them.

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They had lights under the water in the pond to look like koi fish.  I didn’t even know they made waterproof lights like that…such a cool effect.

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I think this giant schooner made of lights was my favorite.

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On the way home I stopped by the Charleston docks to see the ships light up at night.

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