Saturday, May 2, 2015


It is so sad, but unfortunately true, that more people than not have been raped and/or abused at some point in their life, usually in childhood or as a young adult.  I am one such person.  

For so many years after I was raped I lived inside of 
sick and twisted patterns and made choices that were not only guaranteed to fail, but seriously rendered it 
hard and self-destructive. I went around blaming all of my 
“problems” on the fact that I was raped and in turn I 
let myself fall into relationships that were ultimately 
abusive in one form or another.  I told myself that I was a victim and that the world owed me something for what I had been through.  Maybe if I had had someone to talk to during this time I might have chosen to see things 
differently, but I did not.  What I failed to realize at 
the time was that I made myself a victim.  I let my
attacker win.  Because of what he did to me I felt fear all of 
the time in every situation.  I let my self-esteem be ripped from my soul and as a result, I felt 
like I didn't deserve anything good in my life.  I 
gained weight because I wanted to appear unattractive to other people, I chose relationships with people 
who verbally abused me and cheated on me, I turned 
to drugs and alcohol, I had illicit encounters with 
strangers while under the influence, and I made sure 
to destroy anyone and everyone who wanted to love me for the right reasons.

That having been said, if you are someone or you 
know someone who has been abused, I beg you for 
your sake and the sake of those who want to be in 
your life to do good things with and for you, don’t let the abuser win.  If you have lost your self-esteem and gained weight, if you choose bad relationships, close the real you off to those who really want to help you, abuse substances, choose jobs you hate and feel fear all the time, I mean all of your decisions are based out of some sort of fear, be it worry, anxiety, 
depression, etc., then you have let the person who 
abused you take the life you could have had away 
from you and he or she has won.  

You were put on this earth to have a live it to 
the give and receive make a 
difference and to find joy.  Now is the time to take 
back what you lost.  Now is the time to say, “I am not a victim.  I am a survivor and I want my life back.”  Now is the time to change your diet to get your body back in shape and show it the appreciation it deserves for all the things it does for you daily.  So many of 
my friends say to me, “You’re not fat,” when I say 
I’m going back to my healthy eating because my 
pants are getting tight.  What a lot of them don’t 
know about me is just how fat I had let myself 
become when I first moved to Arizona and now if I 
feel my pants getting tight, I change my eating habits right away.  I refuse to buy larger clothing sizes to 
accommodate my low self-esteem anymore.  Putting unhealthy things into our 
bodies is a major form of low self-esteem.  Sure it’s okay every now and then to have a piece of cake at a party or the occasional slice of 
pizza, glass of wine or beer, but when this type of 
food becomes your daily diet, you have to know that 
it is unhealthy and that you are doing it because, deep down, you just don’t care about you.  

The same goes for substance abuse.  There are so 
many programs in place for recovery and many of 
them state-funded and free, and you can stop this destructive 
pattern and get out from under these self-numbing tendencies.  I went to several before I got 
my life together.  It was hard for me to learn that I 
didn't have to throw drugs or alcohol at my feelings 
and that it was okay to feel them and meet them head on and acknowledge that I was not broken.

I also sought out counseling and turned my negative 
life into positive choices and possibilities.  My 
choices now come from a sense of weighing out 
which path will bring me the greatest happiness and 
excitement as well as from a place of knowing that I 
am as good as everyone else on this planet and I 
deserve all the best that life has to offer.  I now know that I deserve love and am a lovable person; that if I 
allow people to know the real me, the people worth 
having will stay in my life and not hurt me.  They will give me love and support and in return, they will 
accept the same from me and they will stay in my life.  I also now know that not every person is going to 
like me and that that is just fine.  I don’t need them to.  I only want those people who will not bring drama 
into my life as drama is best left on the stage and 
silver screen.  I have finally reached a point where I 
don’t care what other people think about me or about their judgments on my life.  If they want to be in my 
life and they are worth it, then me you 
can be.  I have weeded out all of the people who I had let in for unhealthy reasons.  I now know that there is a huge difference between acquaintances and true 
friends.  From now on my efforts, love and attention 
are reserved only for my true friends.  In learning this lesson it gave me the strength to say, “no.”  To finally care enough about myself to quit being walked on 
and just say, “no” to the general public and 
acquaintances.  If my true friends need me, I will say yes as long as it doesn't compromise me in any way, 
but learning to say, “no” has empowered my life 
beyond words.

These are not small steps, they are huge leaps that 
will catapult you from a life of negativity and merely existing into a life of excitement and joy.  You cannot however, expect that once you make the decision to 
turn it around it will happen overnight.  You didn't 
reach your current state in one day, it took a lot of 
time.  Patience is going to be key for you to change, 
but you will see guaranteed results the minute you 
make up your mind to choose a positive life and make only positive choices.  From this jumping-off-point you will celebrate the death of your inner victim and rejoice in the birth of the survivor, determined to live life to its fullest.

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015


Did you ever wonder how to begin the journey to find out who you are?  Of knowing how to take the first step in self-discovery?  I had a hard time figuring that out when I first began this years-long trek, but then I found an answer.

At one point, and quite recently I might add, I sat down and I made a list.  This list consists of my achievements.  Not just ordinary achievements, but achievements that I pondered over that I knew were extremely important breakthrough points and/or that made my life change in some way for the better. Once I had this list in front of me and could physically see it and read it over, I could then comprehend everything clearly. It was as though a veil had been lifted from my eyes. It formed a picture of me, a very clear picture, one that made me feel like a mirror had been held up to my spiritual face so that I could begin to see myself for who I really am and not the me I have always perceived, i.e. as seen by those around me.  I could see that I have accomplished so many wonderful things, which also made me realize that I am not done dreaming and setting goals for myself to achieve because I love finding the goals that mean something to me and those I love, and I love the moments where I realize I have achieved those goals. It made me realize that stringing together all of these moments is what makes my life meaningful and wonderful.  I also love knowing that I have a purpose; an important purpose and now that I have focus, I can see it.

In order to get you started I am posting a copy of my list below.  I really hope that, if you crave such a journey or have already gotten started with yours, you will find this a jumping-off point toward the heart of who you are.  If you have found other great ways to aid in self-discovery please post them here so that others can benefit from your experiences.


1. Had a child
2. Raised a child on my own
3. Wrote two books and have one in the works
4. Published two fictional y/a books
5. Published 3 books of poetry
6. Bought a house
7. Remodeled a house
8. Overcame three diagnoses of mental illness
9. Turned a negative life into a positive one
10. Cut out all the drama in my life
11. Learned to fly an airplane
12. Moved to Oregon
13. Made lifelong fiends
14. Started a blog
15. Found Love
16. Kept my art alive
17. Learned to play the guitar
18. Learned to appreciate each day I’m blessed with
19. Found faith
20. Became a life coach
21. Found Wicca
22. Cherished my mother
23. Nursed my mother through her bout with cancer
24. Learning to see the good in everyone
25. Learned to forgive
26. Cherished my good health
27. Learned to be grateful

I wish you a safe and fruitful journey.  May you always be happy, healthy and blessed.

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015


(It's Probably Me)

If the title to this post brought you here, I'm very glad. Whether out of a sense of curiosity or a feeling that you can relate, I hope this will in some way change the way you think about how you treat people, or how you allow them to treat you.

I have several friends who, I have quite recently discovered, are allowing themselves to be verbally abused by either friends, spouses, relatives, or a combination of all three.  If you are one of these people, if there is anyone in your life who says things to you like:..."You're stupid,"..."You're ugly,"..."You can't do anything right,"..."You could have fixed yourself up today,"..."You're fat,"..."You need to lose weight,"..."You're a loser,"..."What a pig,"..."Are you so dumb that don't understand,"...and countless other choice phrases, then it is time for a wake up call people.  

As someone who has let herself be verbally abused for a lot of years, take it from me, you don't have to live that way.  Do you feel that your boss or anyone else in your life for that matter, is always telling you what you have done wrong, but you very seldom, if ever, hear about what it is you have done right?  Stop letting it happen. 

At this point, most of you are saying, "I don't let it happen, people just say these things to me, it's not my fault."  I'm here to tell you that it is within you to change how you live your life and finally be rid of this damaging, self-deprecating habit. First of all, KNOW that you deserve better...hell, you deserve the best and nothing less!!!  The reason I say that you allow this to happen is because you do. If you allow these people to stay in your life, no matter who they are or how they are connected to you, then you allow it.  If you have thought it over and you absolutely want to keep them in your life, then you must confront them on they way that they speak to you and let them know without a shadow of a doubt that you will not let them talk to you like that anymore. Demand the respect you deserve.  You have every right to be treated in the best possible manner and that starts with the way you treat yourself, which begins by realizing that you are here on this planet and you are every bit as good and worthwhile and talented and loving and caring and deserved of love as absolutely anyone else on this large, over-populated planet of ours (insert breath here...that was a run-on

I have been gradually weeding people from my life for years, i.e. those who don't support me or accept me for who I am, those who try to change me to suit their needs or views of my life, those who are extremely negative and judgmental and especially those who are self-serving and use me to get what they want, wipe their feet on the welcome mat on my back, and then move on with me sitting there wondering, "What the hell did I do wrong?"  Stop asking yourself what you did wrong, it is damaging self-talk, much like saying your sorry all the time.  You didn't do anything wrong. Everything happens for a reason and the things we consider bad or wrong are a frame of reference for those things in life we consider good and right, otherwise how could you tell them apart?

If you look at it from the point of view of the law of attraction, the universe will bring into your life the things you talk or think about so it makes sense to talk and think about good and positive things.  If you say, "Nobody likes me," the universe says, "Your wish is granted.  Nobody likes you."  If you say, "I will never have any friends," the universe says, "Your wish is granted.  You will never have any friends."  If you say, "I'm not good enough," then the universe says, "Your wish is granted.  You're not good enough."  

It doesn't happen overnight and you can't expect it to, but you can change your detrimental thought patterns, you can change who you let in your life and you can change how people talk to you if you allow them to stay in your life.  

Take those first two important steps.  The first step is realizing that you deserve the best from everyone, especially yourself, and the second step is to become conscious of your thoughts and those habits that allow you to allow people to treat you badly.  Life should be wonderful and exciting, not sad or depressing, but it's up to you.

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Saturday, March 21, 2015


Years ago, somewhere back in the 1980's, during my ten years residing in the silicon valley, I was a computer programmer for a company called Tymnet/Tymshare, which was later bought out by McDonnell Douglas.  The reason for this bit of back story comes from yet another observation, in my large vessel of observations filled by my ever-curious people-watching fascinations, that people do not actually realize that happiness is a choice.

The reason this programming analogy came to mind was that we used to use something called IF/THEN statements when writing a program, i.e., IF (such and such does something), THEN (something else will happen).  I discovered recently just how often these IF/THEN statements come up in peoples' lives.  For example, I was having a conversation with a customer who came into work the other day and during our conversation he said, "If the money comes in then I'm gonna be a happy man."  Later that day a female friend of mine made the statement that, "If he does the right thing, then it will make our lives together much happier."  I found it interesting that these people, hell MOST people, think that happiness depends on something happening to create it.  This is SO not true.

Once you make up your mind that you want to live your life with happiness as your main theme, because that is the first thing that needs to happen for anything that follows to work effectively, then you also have to realize you deserve it...that it is very much okay for you to be happy.  There is no guilt about it, there is no shame, no selfishness attached to it and most of all it doesn't matter what anyone else on the planet thinks about you being happy. Circumstances are just that, the leftovers from choices we have made.  Once we start making better and happier choices, you will then achieve a happy and positive way of life, which I can tell you from vast experience beats the hell out of living any other way.  

We are a species who gets to make choices and happiness is one of those choices so why not choose it?  The next time you find yourself beginning a statement with words like, "When (this) happens," or "If (something) would occur," followed by an obvious THEN statement, stop and ask yourself why it is imperative that something happen before you can allow yourself (yes, I said allow) to be happy.  Wake up in the morning, be grateful for all the good things you have in your life, and don't project worry into your day or regret.  This will eliminate anxiety and depression both.  Just live moment to moment and BE happy.  It's okay!!! The bills will take care of themselves and if you start living a happier life, your physical health will follow that example and most, if not all ailments will be eliminated.

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Saturday, March 14, 2015


If you think about how we exist, there are two realms: the realm of understanding and the realm of “what is.” There may, of course be many more than that, but for the sake of this article let's keep the scope to a minimum.

As human beings we have an innate yearning to understand things; to reason things out and to seek knowledge about everything. We cannot know for sure why this is, but we strive for it consistently throughout our lives. Most of us have no knowledge as to this plane of existence, but we all know one thing...we are here. Why? Why are we here? Well, that really is the big question now, isn't it?

I believe we float in between two planes or realms, as I like to call them, i.e. the realm of understanding and the realm of “what is.” The realm of understanding being the more conscious state where we try to figure everything out, and the realm of “what is” being a less-conscious state where everything just is. No matter what you do or how hard you try, things just are. They will be what they will be, they are what they are, and they can only ever be what they ever will be.

Believing in ourselves, believing in God and/or believing in anything at all, is what seems to set us apart from other species. I see it most evident in the animal kingdom where, for example a bee has an instinct to flit from flower to flower to gather nectar to take back to the hive for his queen. He doesn't know why he does it and he doesn't fly around thinking, “Wow, I need a better job, I'm so sick of flying from stupid flower to stupid flower all day long for this bitch of a queen who sits on her ass while I do all the work and then I die without so much as a decent life span.” No, he just does his job without a thought about it, not realizing that he just also happens to be pollinating everything as he goes about his daily routine.

Our ability to think and reason is what sets us apart from other species and is also what makes us believe we are the dominant species, but are we? We don't even know for sure which realm is geared toward our own realities. We are vibrational, as is the universe around us, therefore it depends on which realm vibrates harmoniously with each of us independently, hence the difference in how different we are from one another, and yet the same. Sound confusing? Absolutely. I believe it is meant to be so confusing and yet so simple at the same time. We over-complicate things because we can. Those of us who can exist in the realm where things just are, tend to be the type of people we refer to as “laid back,” or “easy going.” Everyone else falls into the realm of understanding where we just have to know.

I believe the best part of all of this however, is that we coexist as one unit or one species, constantly as one, and constantly at odds with one another. I am striving to vibrate more in the realm of the “what is,” and stop allowing the realm of understanding to take over my world as it is an unhealthy balance in which I exist. I believe that balance is the key to all things good and positive and healthy. When you live or vibrate too much in either realm, you are out of balance, which I have been my whole life up to this point. I now have a much better understanding of how to balance this out and because of this understanding can usurp the benefits of balance.

If you feel like you are out of balance, take stock of how you see things, how you vibrate with the world around you, and figure out how to exist more in the realm of “what is.” It is a much nicer place to live.

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Thursday, March 12, 2015


(One of my earlier works, I love creating covers)
I love to take walks, not only for the physical benefits, but for the wonderful spiritual benefits I get like the smell of the fresh air, the beauty of the trees and the water, the flowers blooming, the birds chirping, the ducks at the park chasing me when I walk by (lol...just kidding).  

Usually when I walk I plug my headphones into my phone, which doubles as my music players, and listen to my very favorite artists, depending on my mood.  I have always LOVED Basia and lately have been listening to every song she has ever written, but I digress.  The point is that whatever music makes you happy, make sure that is what you listen to when you set out for your walk as you want your mood to be light and stress free when you set out. Today I realized that, even though life is wonderful on its own, when I set it to music it is spectacular. It drowns out the traffic noise and lets you concentrate on absolutely nothing in particular.  

I like to walk against traffic because I am a people-watcher and I find it is a great way to catch people doing things they wouldn't expect anyone to notice. I also get to see their faces and their expressions. Today it seems I noticed each emotion on people passing was crying and angry, one was grimacing, one was smiling, one was frowning, one had no visible emotion, one was laughing, three were talking on the phone, 7 were texting and driving and one was deep in concentration. I was also fortunate enough to catch sight of a man and wife who looked to be in their late 80's, talking and laughing as they passed me by.  At that point I realized that each car contained a different life, separate and apart from mine and yours, but equally important and real. Each person in each car is just a small drop in a sea of humanity...a small cog which aids in creating a species; each person very involved in their moment, having their time with life, so very interested in something pertinent to them at that time. 

What a pleasure it was to watch life today as set to music.  The theme songs wafting into my ears washed away any daily stress (which thankfully, isn't much anymore) and guided me toward a calm and beautiful journey back home.  

The next time you want to de-stress in the beautiful outdoors, go for a nice, long walk and set it to music. It's amazing how all of your senses will suddenly wake up and enjoy themselves.

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Saturday, March 7, 2015


I must be having a week of pet peeves because everywhere I go lately I'm hearing things that make me wonder what has happened to society.  The other day I was in one of our local stores, Fred Meyers, much like WalMart but beats it by miles, and I was standing in the checkout line behind two women about my age.  I heard one of them say, "I was so embarrassed.  I mean, what are people gonna think?"  My first thought was wow, I feel so sorry for her.  I just wanted to grab her and shake her and say, "It's okay to be who you doesn't matter what it looks like to other people and it especially doesn't matter what they think."  But that would have made her worse.

I know much of the time people have these feelings because of the way they were brought up, but it's time to be aware of them and get them to rise up out of your head and heart and replace them with positive and healthy thoughts and feelings.

As a child I was painfully shy.  I kept my head down most of the time and if people came to the house I clung to my mother's side.  I had funny buck teeth, wore high-water pants and was overly thin.  I was also teased unmercifully in grammar school because of these traits.  I had less than zero self-confidence and much of that followed me into my adulthood. 

I have worked diligently on changing things in my life for the better and that meant changing how I perceived things and how I see myself.  It meant taking hold of the self-confidence I deserved and falling in love with it in my own way and in my own time.  Now that I have reached an empowered and spectacular place in my life where I genuinely love who I am, I no longer care what people think, what they hear me say, what their judgments are, what my life looks like to "them" and so on.  I am here.  I am important.  I am a good person.  I am a unique person. I can love.  I make people laugh.  I love to help people.  I can create beauty in my art, in my books and in my music and I become prouder of myself every day in every way. 

No longer will I let people judgments affect me...ever. I am done.  I am done with people who won't be a friend the same way that I am a friend to me.  I am SO done with drama and I don't want it in my life anymore.  I'm done with pretenses and lies and assholes I let control my life.  I'm done with trying to be things I'm not.  I'm done with anyone who wants to use me as they will no longer be allowed to enter my life.

Be proud of who you are...let it shine through bold and bright and right out in front.  If others have a problem with it, then it's their problem...not yours. I took stock long ago and have weeded these people out of my life.  You should try feels fucking wonderful!

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Thursday, March 5, 2015


I finished my book...the sequel to The Secret of Vesta.  It is entitled, Wrath of the Secret of Vesta.  I think it turned out so great and I couldn't be more proud and excited.  Click the link to check it out:
Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

The secret of Vesta is back and with a vengeance, to say the least. Wicker Alabaster has her work cut out for her this time. Luckily her good friend, Pixel is there to lend a hand.Their magic is in tact but it’s no match for the forces they face. Can they hold their own against a psychopathic, evil spirit? Can they match wits with a narcissistic killer? Can they restore the elements and bring order back to our world? Join Wicker and Pixel as they fight, scheme and battle the wrath of the secret of Vesta.

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Sunday, March 1, 2015


What are you "sorry" about?  I was thinking about the word "sorry" today because it dawned on me just how many times a day I hear that word, not to mention how many times I say it myself.  The word "sorry" means full of woe/sorrow, or sadness, and it made me wonder why we are so sorry all the time.  

For people of my generation and back, I suppose we can't really help it.  I recall growing up hearing my parents say, "tell him/her you're sorry."  Now at the time I didn't know I was sorry, I was just supposed to "say" I was sorry.  I was conditioned into an emotion that I didn't feel, which is dishonest, really.  I get that at the time that particular learned behavior was considered a "manner," as in growing up learning manners so you will be accepted in society.  It's all a part of appearances it would seem.  Was I sorry I burped?  No, it actually felt great. Was I sorry I bumped into a lady on my way out of a public doorway?  No because it was an accident. I suppose I could have used the antique phrase, "I beg your pardon," but the word "beg" really turns me off because it isn't true and I won't beg forgiveness for an accident.

I think if people really got in touch with their feelings they could admit that much of what they say they "feel" is due to being conditioned by society a.k.a our parents.  I often wonder what a different person I would be had I been allowed to discover and fully express my feelings as I was growing up.  I've always been so repressed emotionally and now that I'm finally able to explore who I am, I feel so much freer by just being honest about my feelings.  No more will I play societal games.  No more will I put up with people who do not meet my conditions for friendship.  No more will I put up with false people who have false values and play games and create so much drama in their lives.  I'm done with drama and if I ever desire it again, it will be at a play, on the stage where it belongs.

Do I sometimes feel sorry for choices I've made that have also affected others in a negative way?  Absolutely, but that sorrow is real, it's mine, it's not superficial or polite.  I'm me now, the real me.  I can go to the concert in the park with no makeup on, no bra, holes in my jeans in all the right places and my hair piled up on top of my head with a chopstick holding it there.  I'm not sorry I look like me, I'm not sorry I'm finally comfortable in my own skin and I'm definitely not sorry for being who I am meant to be.

So it all boils down to the fact that I am excited and proud to finally understand what it is to be me and I won't be "sorry" about it any longer.  My question to you now is, what are you "sorry" for?

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Friday, February 20, 2015


How many times a day do you answer the question, "How are you?"  On top of that, how many times do you answer that question with a "pat" or "standard" answer like, "fine," or "good," or "not bad?"

Once I started breaking free of my hum-drum, I decided to answer that question with only positive adjectives, using only those that would be considered out-of-the-ordinary.  Now, when people ask, "How are you?"  I say, "fabulous," or "Awesome," or "stupendous."  Not only does it break the monotony, but you should see the looks on people's faces, not to mention their responses.  Some smile and laugh and say, "good for you," and others look astonished.  There are even those who roll their eyes, but those are the people I smile at and go about my day because they are clearly not in a positive space yet and hopefully my smile and positive response made them think a little about becoming more positive or at least waking up a bit.  Most people are asleep much of their lives.

Sometimes it is difficult to come up with enough interesting words to answer the, "how are you," question, so I have come up with a list using the alphabet (except X), in order to help you get started:

(Let's face it, there is no word for X)


Here's wishing you a stupendous day and a tremendous life, filled with positive outcomes, fulfilling dreams and attainable goals.  Break free of your hum-drum and make each day special and unique.

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015


Why do we do it?  Why do we continue to live in set patterns, even though they make us feel like we're banging our heads against the wall.  The majority of us get "stuck" in these routines, much of which do not make us happy...ever.  The first one that comes to mind is the all-too-familiar "go to lunch...go home...go to sleep...repeat."

I used to be that way but it bored the crap out of me.  Here is what I do now..."go to work...take lunch with me while I walk downtown and hit the antique stores and/or farmer's market...go back to work and try to make people laugh while I work...get off work and go to my journal class at my favorite art-gathering-store-place or find a great place to get new and unusual healthy foods while I talk to every stranger as though they were long, lost friends...go home...write in my blog and/or my journal...go through my affirmations and/or do an art something funny and/or positive on the tube...drift off to sleep.  The next morning, if I am so blessed with one, I will change it all up.

Whatever you have in your life that feels dull and routine and just downright unsatisfying...quit banging your head against the wall and change it up.  You CAN have a wonderful day, but YOU have to change it...I guarantee you it won't happen without your conscious effort.  Eventually, you are going to become a person you like again...someone you can greet in the mirror and smile at, knowing that you care enough to treat yourself with respect.

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Sunday, February 8, 2015


I love "ghost" tracking and one of the things I liked best about going to Bisbee, Arizona, was the ghostly legends and original architecture.  Well, I am happy to report that I have found that here in my new digs as well, in Coos County, Oregon.  The following article was submitted on another website by a local reporter...I can't wait to check these places out:

Spooky Legends and Haunted Locations

By Mike Chavez
As I have come to find out, Coos County has a few legends that provide some chilling scenarios for the curious. Here are a few more presumed haunted locations in Coos County. Explore if you dare.

McAuley Hospital, Coos Bay

Built in 1925, this was originally the Wesley Methodist Hospital. Years later, it was acquired by the Sisters of Mercy and renamed The McAuley Hospital. In 1982, it was remodeled to begin a new life as the Ken Keyes College. Since then, it has changed hands several times and has been vacant at times. People who have visited this building claim to hear footsteps, disembodied voices and some have even been pinched by ghosts.
Reportedly, the scariest location in the building is the Surgery Room. Rumors of deranged doctors experimenting on their wards and patients retaliating or taking their own lives in desperation, make this location a petrifying visit….If you dare of course.

Hell House, Sand Dunes North Bend

There is a site in the sand dunes outside of North Bend that was formerly used as an old Coast Guard Barracks. The building has since been completely demolished and consumed by the grounds around it. At one time though, the derelict structure was reportedly used by witches in training to conduct rituals and cast spells on unwary victims. According to local storytellers, before the building completely disappeared, there were pentagrams and symbols painted on the walls throughout with an alter in the biggest room covered in black candle wax. Visitors and ghost hunters to this site hear strange noises and feel uneasy and sick. Others say that they feel like they are being watched by several eyes from the heavy dune brush.

Ghost Horse, Sand Dunes North Bend

Another ghostly character that roams the sand dunes near North Bend is the fabled “Ghost Horse” which aimlessly roams the sand dunes looking for who knows what. Several witnesses over the years have reported seeing the horse in the distance, but when they try to get a closer look, the animal disappears. Others have said they witnessed the horse at close range and it appears to be transparent or skinless. Unfortunately, most sightings of the Ghost Horse have been around the Hell House location. So, good luck with that adventure, its not for the faint of heart at any level.

Sea Cave, Bandon

Beautiful Bandon by the Sea with its gorgeous drift wood beaches and decadent candy stores has a scarier side. On the beach front, near Bandon there is a sea cave. People who enter this cave safely at low tide have claimed to hear a female voice singing a Gaelic lullaby. One rumor suggests this ghostly woman is singing to her child who was lost in the cave while playing. The child was trapped by high tide as the incoming waters rushed in cave and drowned the child. Local ghost hunters say the best time to hear the woman is shortly after high tide has peaked and the water is receding from the cave.

Powers Cemetery, Powers County Park

Witnesses have reported for years seeing floating spectral lights and hearing voices while braving a walk on the loop through the cemetery. During the day, this location is an interesting find with headstones dating back 100 years. However, at night people report an air pressure drop just in the location of the cemetery and then the voices begin. On one occasion, a visitor reported hearing what sounded like a horse drawn carriage and several people weeping. We can only imagine this was a spectral funeral procession with one of the locals being laid to rest…or unrest in this case.

Tioga Building, Coos Bay

Contributed by Laura Schier
Laura Schier was with a ghost hunting club (PSI Oregon) that was fortunate enough to investigate the Tioga building on two occasions. Once in the basement area and once on the second floor where there is an old ballroom.
The ballroom itself is magnificent with it’s vaulted ceiling that is classically painted. As I looked out the second floor windows, I could vividly imagine the town as it looked back in the day, when it was still Marshfield. Personally, I did not experience much activity on the second floor, though other team members were able to record unfamiliar voices on their recorders.
Strange noises were heard, but we could not rule out natural explanations for most of them. The basement, on the other hand, was pretty interesting. An almost constant sense of being not just followed, but studied, by something or someone as curious about us as we were about them. Never a bad or creepy feeling…just the understanding that we were probably not alone. Many unexplained noises, shadows and even a few voices were heard with our own ears, as well as on our recorders.
Author Note: If you do want to explore these sites please get permission from landowners and make sure that you are entering a safe area. We hope you enjoy your visit to Coos County and Happy Ghost Hunting!

Thank you for taking the time to stop and visit and please, if you like what you've read, leave a comment. If you have a blog or website of your own I would love to visit it. After your comment, make sure to post your link and I will stop by and leave a comment as well. Happy blogging.

Saturday, February 7, 2015


In life it isn’t always making your dreams come true that matters most, it’s having the dreams in our lives, the goals to work toward and the positive changes to strive for and dream of, that really keep us going. 
I believe it is more the quest than the capture.  Think about a time when  you have had a goal and reached it, yes you are excited and happy and your life is changed for the better, but then you feel a little empty, maybe a bit sad even, and you don’t really know why.  It is because we all need that dream, that goal of positivity and happiness to strive for.  Without dreams and hopes in our lives, it just kind of misses the whole point.  Life is about working toward things and figuring out how to do that in a loving manner, not only loving others, but more importantly, loving ourselves in the process.
When you reach low times in your life, try to keep your eye on the prize.  Know that you WILL reach your goal if you want it bad enough and know that the changes will bring you exactly what you hope to get out of them, but more importantly, know that once reached, they will be replaced with new, positive goals, hopes and dreams. 
Never give up.

Saturday, January 24, 2015


Why in the world, other than obvious health concerns surrounding obesity, is everyone so worried about their weight? It seems the entire U.S. is either on a diet, searching for the next “fad” diet, purchasing diet plans and/or products, or just constantly complaining about wanting to lose weight. Our country is consistently advertising diet sodas (which, by the way, is an extreme oxymoron), diet pills, prepackaged diet foods, various “non” sugars or substitutes, etc. I cannot say I am without having tried to accomplish weight loss myself from time to time, but society's guidelines, as well as their expectations, are very unrealistic.
Americans have become such “foodies” that they make easy targets for the media. If you are overweight, then you know you need to lose weight to avoid, and/or correct health issues...this is not news to you. However, if you are just one of those people who don't like what they see in the mirror, then there are some questions you need to answer first.
1: Am I at a healthy weight for my height and bone structure?
2. Am I at risk for health issues?
3. Is there a medical problem which hinders my weight loss progress?
4. Is my dislike for my body based on what others have said about/to me?
5. Do I lack self-respect?
6. Am I using food to fulfill emptiness?
7. Do I eat just to satisfy boredom?
If the answers to questions 1, 2 or 3 are yes, then it is highly advisable that you seek out medical assistance with your weight loss plan. If the answers to questions 4 through 7 are yes (any of them), then here are a few things to know: You DESERVE to look and feel good about yourself. You DESERVE to be healthy and happy. You DESERVE to love yourself and value only your opinion of yourself and not those of the people in your life. You DESERVE the best that life has to offer.
If you look in the mirror and are not happy with what you see, then DO something about it, but please do it smart. Don't “diet” when it is much simpler and healthier to change your eating habits. Make a lifestyle change, because all too often when you diet to lose weight, 9 times out of ten you always go right back to your poor eating habits when you either feel you have lost enough weight or have given up. I decided to make that change and merely adjusted the way I eat. I don't eat food after 6 o'clock pm, I eat small portions, I eat healthy and balance meals and I cut out things like Soda, potato chips, and pretty much all processed foods. I make my meals from scratch most of the time and I know most of you are poo-pooing that idea, but you can take a day and make a lot of meals and freeze them in individual portions, that way you just pop one out of the freezer after work, microwave, and eat. These are just a few tips, but to tailor a plan that is right for you, do a lot of research on the foods you want to eat.
Exercise is important for your body. Not just to burn calories but your body is made to move and your muscles stay healthy when you use them, especially your heart. I know a lot of you don't like to exercise, but walking, even if you go to the local thrift store and purchase a small treadmill, is an excellent source of both muscle tone and cardio. I walk at least 15 minutes a day if I can. I have been doing it for months now and have built myself up to walking over 3 miles each time. I almost feel as though something is missing if I don't get my exercise for the day. Yes, if you are not used to doing it, it will take some effort to get it started, but make sure you incorporate it into your lifestyle change because you not only want to lose weight, but you want to get your muscles back in shape and stay fit as well.
Start your day with positive affirmations. Wake up each morning, thankful for the new day and the clean slate, and say to yourself, “I love myself...I am worth it...I deserve only the best...and I will settle for nothing less.” I have found a few videos that I watch when I wake up and before I go to sleep that help my subconscious mind realize what an awesome person I am. Below is a link to the main video I watch and the others will follow off of that link:
Be healthy America, but do it for YOU!

Sunday, January 18, 2015


Most people want to control everything with all of their heart. These are usually referred to as Type “A” personalities (if you are into typing people) and they want to get up in the morning, assuming there is even a guarantee of that happening, and orchestrate their day from start to finish by planning every little detail, not to mention the rest of their lives. In the interim of planning though, I wonder; did they remember to tell their heart muscle to pump blood through their body? Did they remember to tell their lungs to fill with air, their mouth to taste what goes inside and their legs to move forward when walking? If not,I would say they certainly neglected those miniscule details while in the process of planning everything else about their life. Hmm, poor planning? You be the judge (insert laughter here). I can joke about this as I was one of these people.  Finally I had to realize that you can no more “plan” what is going to happen to you than you can plan on your body doing what it needs to do and is going to do no matter how you try to interfere.

The best you can do while learning no to plan, is to “plan” to accept everything that comes your way, no matter what. You can “plan” for the best possible outcome, expect the best possible outcome, and accept no less than the best possible outcome and you will receive the best possible outcome. That doesn't mean it is going to be exactly what you thought it would be every time, but it will definitely be the “best” possible outcome for you in that situation. Expect the best and that is what you will attract, hence the laws of attraction. See the good in everyone and that is what you will attract from them. Expect the best from yourself and that is what you will be. Love and respect yourself 100% and you will see and feel that love and respect from everyone in your world. Know it, believe it, see it, be it.

Not everything makes sense to us, but those who understand that and learn that life is change and that to live life you must accept change and make it positive, or at least find the positive in all of it, they will be the people who really live. There are those of us who are cautious or who just work and go home and never expand our world because we think that is all there is. Then there are those of us who know there is more to living than just existing and who go out there and make our dreams realities. If you are not the latter, remember that you CAN be. You CAN be anything you want to be and you CAN have everything you ever wanted. Just go for it. If it helps, make a bucket list and do everything on it while you know you're still alive and that list will forever change and grow. In that way you can teach yourself to live. Also remember that no matter what excuse you come up with, there is always time in a day for things you want; get up earlier or go to bed later, maybe even cut out things that aren't as important, but make the time and you will see the joy begin to infiltrate your life, deeper and deeper until it becomes all there is. You don't have to have a reason to feel joy; you can feel joy for no reason at all.

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