Dear God,
I recently learned in Church that we should not question why things are...or how things turn out, because it is all in our plan to happen a certain way...your way...in your time. I accept that and am trying so hard to learn patience during the waiting process. However, knowing all of this I still wish I could send you a list of things I wish for in my life and have them magically happen. If this were possible I would send you a list like this:
1. I wish I didn't have BPD so that I could function in life.
2. I wish if I could function in life, that I would have a certain type of friends again like I used to.
3. I wish if I could have this type of friends again that they would be the kind that think of me and not make me feel invisible. The kind who call me out of the blue, who text me just because they are thinking of me, who invite me to go places and do things because they truly enjoy my company as much as I do theirs.
4. I wish I were lovable.
5. I wish I were young and attractive.
6. I wish that with the friends I do have I didn't always feel like I were begging for their friendship. That they were not so wrapped up in themselves and could find time to include me more often and show me I am loved.
7. I wish that I could move away and afford to go to the place I am meant to be to make my life happen.
8. I wish that I had a life.
9. I wish that I knew how to feel complete
10. I wish I were so secure in myself that I could care less if I had anyone in it at all.
11. I wish people would appreciate me.
12. I wish life made sense to me.
13. I wish I were content.
14. I wish my faith were stronger.
15. I wish I knew how to enjoy every minute of life to its very fullest.
AMEN
I recently learned in Church that we should not question why things are...or how things turn out, because it is all in our plan to happen a certain way...your way...in your time. I accept that and am trying so hard to learn patience during the waiting process. However, knowing all of this I still wish I could send you a list of things I wish for in my life and have them magically happen. If this were possible I would send you a list like this:
1. I wish I didn't have BPD so that I could function in life.
2. I wish if I could function in life, that I would have a certain type of friends again like I used to.
3. I wish if I could have this type of friends again that they would be the kind that think of me and not make me feel invisible. The kind who call me out of the blue, who text me just because they are thinking of me, who invite me to go places and do things because they truly enjoy my company as much as I do theirs.
4. I wish I were lovable.
5. I wish I were young and attractive.
6. I wish that with the friends I do have I didn't always feel like I were begging for their friendship. That they were not so wrapped up in themselves and could find time to include me more often and show me I am loved.
7. I wish that I could move away and afford to go to the place I am meant to be to make my life happen.
8. I wish that I had a life.
9. I wish that I knew how to feel complete
10. I wish I were so secure in myself that I could care less if I had anyone in it at all.
11. I wish people would appreciate me.
12. I wish life made sense to me.
13. I wish I were content.
14. I wish my faith were stronger.
15. I wish I knew how to enjoy every minute of life to its very fullest.
AMEN
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